How to Build up Bridesmaid Dresses

I have to admit that I went a little insane when trying to figure out the best choice for bridesmaid dresses that were modest yet stylish and unique (and inexpensive!).  If you already haven’t noticed, it’s hard to find off-the-rack bridesmaids dresses with sleeves.  One common approach to resolve this issue is to select a fabric and color to be used for building the dress and have your bridesmaids figure out the seamstress situation...the design, cut and cost of the dress.  I chose not to take that approach, mainly to ensure that the dresses were not too expensive.  So, what did I do?

1. The Look:  Find pictures of the perfect modest bridesmaid dress:  I used the internet to find inspiring long-sleeve styles. Check out these ideas.
2. Where to Purchase:  Determine whether the dresses that you found inspiring are accessible, reasonably priced, and can be purchased online or at a local store. 
• I couldn't access the dresses I wanted.  I found a great dress online that I would have purchased but it would take too long to arrive with enough allotted time for alterations.  Instead, I got the brand of the dress and the style number so I could refer to the dress when inquiring whether a seamstress could make it or order it and make alterations in time.
3. Reasonably Priced Seamstresses:  Assuming the dresses cannot be purchased online or at a store, find reasonably priced tailors or seamstresses that make custom gowns in your area.  This can be tricky since most seamstresses may not want to give price estimates over the phone.  They will say they need specifics such as the style and material of the dress.  Ideally, you should be prepared to email or refer them online to pictures of dresses that include the style number and designer’s name.  If they still won’t provide estimates, DO NOT give up –some seamstresses may be reluctant to provide estimates but trust me, there are seamstresses willing to work something out.  Find a seamstress willing to give an estimate, but don’t hang up until you have negotiated the best offer. 
4. Negotiating with the Seamstress:  You’ve already found the look you want and can refer to the brand and style number of the dress.  Have the seamstress go online and view the dress to determine if s/he can make the dress or order it and make alterations in time.  Show that the dress online costs x amount and state that you cannot spend over y amount per dress.  If there are at least a handful of bridesmaids, you can also sell the fact that you are buying in bulk.        
• After calling four seamstresses that were unwilling to provide estimates over the phone or were unwilling to try to work something out I was about to give up and give in to pulling out my hair.  I hung in there and called the fifth seamstress on my list.  She was amazing – right from the start it was obvious she was the one.  Why?  When I asked her if she had any Landa long-sleeve dresses and she said no, she immediately followed up with “but I can customize a dress just like that”.  I responded that a customized dress sounds expensive and her response was “what is your price range”.  I said the Landa dress was $150 and I wanted to pay somewhere in that ballpark.  We negotiated to $163 per dress… an amazing deal for tailored long-sleeve bridesmaid dresses that had the look and feel I envisioned.
• Who was this amazing seamstress?  Jacqueline from Staten Island (718.370.3936; jkline46@aol.com ), and yes it was 110% worth driving from Manhattan to Staten Island to get fabulous long-sleeve bridesmaid dresses at a discounted price. 
5. The Pseudo Bridesmaid Fitting (a fitting without having to go to the seamstress):  Now that you’ve negotiated a reasonable price, you need to have your bridesmaids fitted.  But this could be a problem if they live far from the seamstress.  No worries!  My seamstress was willing to have each bridesmaid fax over or email specified dimensions.  My seamstress provided the bridesmaids with a form that had a picture of a woman and all of the measurements needed for each part of the body.  This is a list of measurements she needed with sample inches per part:        
• Bust: 32"
• Waist: 27.5"
• Abdomen: 32" 
• Hip: 39" 
• Shoulder to Shoulder: 12.5" 
• Shoulder to Shoulder Back: 13.5" 
• Center Back Length: 15" 
• Arm Around: 10" 
•  Dress Length: 54"
• Sleeve Length: 15"
6. Since my seamstress was inconveniently located for my bridesmaids, I picked up all bridesmaids dresses and gave them to my bridesmaids at my bridal shower.  End of story!  It’s that easy :)

The Perfect Chuppah: Ideas and ways to save money

In my opinion, the Chuppah represents the climax of an Orthodox Jewish Wedding.  It is under the Chuppah that the kallah walks seven times around the chosson, where the key blessings are said that transition a man and woman into a husband and wife, it is where two souls symbolically become one, and it is the first place that this union in marriage is recognized by all.   Thus, creating a magnificent and spiritually significant environment can enhance these precious moments under the Chuppah.  But creating such a special environment does not have to be expensive. 

If you find yourself doing a tremendous amount of online research searching for the “best” chuppah provided by the most highly recommended chuppah builders, then you may not realize that chuppah’s are typically provided as an option by your Florist.  So, if you’ve already found your florist, you can ask to see examples of chuppah’s they have done, but be forewarned that a florist will most likely suggest chuppah options that include lots of flowers (not surprisingly) that will hike up costs.  Do not be seduced by their elaborate showcase of floral chuppahs.  Instead of doing a traditional chuppah with all the bells and whistles of flowers upon flower upon flowers (and more dollars upon dollars upon dollars spent), here are some stylish ideas that can significantly reduce costs spent on your Chuppah:

Simple Chuppah:  I think this chuppah, with just four black poles and loose white fabric is beautifully simple yet easy on the wallet.  Understated yet exquisite details such as the lace that is loosely wrapped around the chosson and kallah create intimacy, the smooth chandelier adds a sleek style, and a pink bundle of flowers located on each side look as though they are levitating, take this simple chuppah to the next level.

 

Unique Chuppah:  What I love most about this chuppah is that the branches are the main component used to create an elaborate feel to counterbalance the elaborate backdrop.  The combination of branches and lighting can create a natural feel at an inexpensive price.

Elegant Chuppah:  You can have a traditional style chuppah that looks elegant without extravagant flowers.  A few greens on the sides add a little color; while the white material gathered at the top of the chuppah add softness and a heavenly glow.

Tallit Chuppah:  Using the tallit for the top of the chuppah is an easy way of creating a religious tone to the chuppah without spending a dime.

Personalized Chuppah:  Another way to reduce the costs of the chuppah without sacrificing style is to personalize the top cover of the chuppah by having close friends and family participate in making the top cover:   send a handful of friends or relatives a blank piece of square cloth, and then have them add a personal symbolic design to the cloth and send the cloth back to you or someone that will be responsible for sowing the pieces of cloth together.  The combined pieces of cloth, each with their independent, unique and personalized designs will become a mosaic cover for the top of the chuppah at a minimal price.

Metro-NY Kosher Catering Cost Estimates

Outsourcing a kosher caterer that can cater at practically any venue can be particularly liberating to those of you that want to throw a more unique kind of wedding.  Maybe you want to have your wedding at a posh NYC loft, at a venue that overlooks a waterfront, maybe you have always dreamed of throwing your wedding at a farm or in the park, or maybe the idea of having your wedding at a traditional-style Jewish wedding hall is not appeasing to you.   All of these thoughts crossed my mind when planning my wedding, which is why I have pricing estimates from some of the most popular kosher caterers of Metro-NY on catering at some of these sorts of venues.

Just remember, when looking for a top quality kosher caterer at an affordable, the most inexpensive route is to go to a venue that offers in-house kosher catering, as the total price per person includes the venue, service, and food.  Further, the effort and work involved in outsourcing a kosher catering is far more labor intensive since the food, equipment and service must be transported and all kosher cooking logistics considered, impacting costs.

So, how much does it cost to hire an outside kosher caterer for your wedding at any venue (i.e., a bare bones loft studio or a non-kosher restaurant with a spectacular view of the water)?  Not surprising, kosher caterers may be reluctant to provide cost estimates on catering an event without having a “meeting” to discuss all the specifics and logistics since the price range can vary based on factors such as:   

• the type of menu, 
• number of people, 
• venue, 
• staffing (rabbinical supervision and servers and / or bartenders), 
• time of year, 
• style of food, 
• sit-down versus buffet-style reception, 
• number of offered dishes (Meat, Chicken, Fish, Vegetarian), 
• sushi (typically adds to the cost), dessert plate options, and other bells and whistles, 
• whether they have a relationship with the venue, 
• whether they have to supply plates / flatware / stemware, etc.   

Further, some caterers will give deeper discounts the higher the number of guests that you can guarantee.  Caterers may differ on their flexibility with negotiating a lower price, and/or will provide tweaks to the menu to be able to lower costs.  

While I cannot provide price ranges that reflect your specific kosher catering needs, I can provide the cost estimates that I was given for my Feb’10 wedding of 200 guests.  Considering all of the aforementioned factors, my objective was to get the minimum cost to have an outside kosher caterer supply the food at venues such as the ones listed in the top ten affordable venues in Manhattan.

The following cost estimates are based solely on providing the kosher food for a wedding (schmorg, cocktail hour, Meat/Chicken/Fish/Veg reception, and dessert), and note additional costs such as the mashgiach, servers, bartenders, tables/linens, flatware/stemware, alcohol, etc are not included:

Average Cost of a Kosher Wedding

One of the first tasks I did when planning my kosher wedding was to establish a realistic wedding budget.  Did I mention I planned my wedding during the 2009 Recession?  Cost was an issue, and in order to throw the wedding of my dreams I had to know what I was dealing with and how to cut costs.  While the internet unlocks the door to the world of wedding budget calculators, I did not find one specific to the Orthodox Jewish Wedding audience.  That being said, here is one way for you to establish your kosher wedding budget:

What is the average cost of a kosher wedding?
The average cost of a kosher wedding varies depending on location.  The following link provides a quick way to get estimates for a non-kosher wedding based on zip code:    http://www.costofwedding.com/
For New York City, the average cost of a (non-kosher) wedding is between $22,832 and $38,053.  But what does this mean to the kosher bride and groom, who typically invite significantly more guests than the number of guests invited to the average secular wedding, and who must pay almost twice as much for kosher food than the average cost of non-kosher food provided at a wedding?

It means that those wedding averages must increase significantly to get a realistic kosher wedding budget.  The easiest way to do this is to know which wedding items impact budget costs the most.  The wedding budget percentage breakdown shows that the Reception makes up 48% of the wedding budget, and "reception" is defined as the cost of the venue and catering.  So, a non-kosher wedding in New York that costs $25,000 means that half of that, or approximately $12,500 was spent on the Reception.  Kosher weddings require kosher food, which can cost double the amount paid for non-kosher catering.  So, for this example, a kosher wedding budget needs to add another $12,500 to the $25,000 making the cost of the kosher wedding $37,500 by factoring in the significant price difference in Reception costs.  There are additional Jewish related items in the budget that can also impact the average cost of a kosher wedding such as the average size of an “Orthodox Jewish” wedding. While the national average size of a wedding based on a survey conducted by The Knot in 2009 is 149 guests, the average size of an Orthodox Jewish wedding can be significantly larger. I did not find an available survey to reflect the average size of an Orthodox Jewish wedding, so for the purpose of this blog I will not factor average size differences between the national average and the Orthodox Jewish average.  Therefore, for those of you interested in what the average cost of a kosher wedding is, I took the non-kosher wedding cost averages and doubled the Reception cost to come up with:

• Average Cost of a Kosher Wedding in New York*:  between $33,791 and $56,318
• Average Cost of a Kosher Wedding in the US*:  between $21,735 and $36,224

* These averages do not factor in size of the average Orthodox Jewish Wedding, which can be significantly larger than the national average size of a wedding.