Jewish Wedding Ceremony Program Template:
Welcome!
Thank you so much for joining us for our wedding. We are very happy that you have come to share our special day with us. We have prepared this guide to the ceremony and customs of the traditional Jewish wedding to enhance your participation in the celebration.
A wedding reflects a new beginning for the couple, a day likened in significance to Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), the most sacred day of the Jewish calendar. As on Yom Kippur, when repentance wipes the slate clean between G-d and humanity, today the couple begins a new phase in their lives. The parallel between Yom Kippur and the wedding day is also reflected in the clothing [groom's name] and [bride's name] wear. As a symbol of purity and forgiveness, they both wear white – [bride's name] in her wedding gown and [groom's name] in a kittel, a robe typically used for prayer on the high holy days.
Kaballat Panim:
Greeting the Chatan & Kallah
On their wedding day, the Chatan and Kallah are treated with special honor, as guests endeavor to fulfill the mitzvah (commandment) of mis’ameach Chatan v’Kallah (gladdening the groom and bride) in the time prior to the ceremony where guests have the opportunity to greet them. While [bride's name] receives guests in one room, [groom's name] sits in a separate room at the chatan’s tisch - literally, the groom’s table.
The Ketubah (Marriage Contract)
At the Chatan’s tisch, the contractual obligations surrounding the marriage are finalized. [Groom's name] accepts the terms of the ketubah (marriage contract), a two-thousand-year-old Aramaic text which obliges [groom's name] to honor, support, and maintain his future wife, [bride's name]. The signing of the ketubah expresses the idea that any declaration of love must be accompanied by both legal obligations and moral commitment.
[Groom's name] formally accepts his obligations by accepting a token physical object (a handkerchief), which [the Rabbi's name] hands him. Two witnesses then sign the ketubah, as required by Jewish law. At the conclusion of the tisch, guests accompany [groom's name] with dancing and singing as he walks to [bride's name] for the bedeken.
Bedeken (Veiling of the Kallah)
The word “bedeken” has two meanings, each originating from a particular episode in Genesis. The first definition for the word is “to check” so that the groom will not find himself in the same predicament as the patriarch Jacob who, after working seven years for Laban to earn Rachel’s hand, was deceived and given Leah instead (Gen. 29:21-25). The second meaning is “to cover” as illustrated in the story of Rebecca who covered herself with a veil when she saw her husband-to-be, Isaac, for the first time (Gen. 24:65). At the bedeken, [Groom's name] looks at [bride's name] face and confirms that she is his chosen bride and lowers the veil, thus symbolically setting her apart from others.
After the bedeken, guests proceed to the ceremony room and take their seats.
The Ceremony
Chuppah (Marriage Canopy)
The chuppah is a symbol of the home that [groom's name] and [bride's name] will build together. All four sides are left open so that the public may be part of the ceremony and as a representation of the tent of Abraham and Sara that was also open on all four sides emphasizing the Jewish value of hospitality towards guests.
The groom and bride are each escorted to the chuppah by their dear parents, [groom's name] by his parents, [groom's parents names], and [bride's name] by her parents, [bride's parents names]. When [bride's name] reaches the chuppah, she circles [groom's name] seven times. There are many explanations for the seven circles. By circling the Chatan, the Kallah symbolically supplies walls to the chuppah, thereby separating the couple from the rest of society, a private space where only the two of them may enter. The seven circles also represent each of the days of creation and a link to the seven patriarchs and matriarchs. When [bride's name] has finished circling [groom's name], she stands at his right, in remembrance of the verse, “At my right hand does the queen stand.” (Psalms 45:10).
The ceremony proper has two parts - Kiddushin (betrothal) and Nissuin (marriage blessings). Each of these components begins with a blessing over a cup of wine, the traditional Jewish mark of joyous ritual.
Kiddushin (Betrothal)
The Mesader Kiddushin (officiating Rabbi), [the rabbi's name], begins the ceremony reciting the Birchat Erusin (betrothal blessings). Introducing the people being called up for honors will be [name of the person introducing the people]. The first blessing is over a cup of wine and the second blessing expresses gratitude to G-d for allowing the sanctification of the relationship through marriage. After the blessings, [groom's name] and [bride's name] drink from the cup of wine.
This is followed by the central act of the entire day – the giving and acceptance of the wedding ring. Since marriage in Jewish law is a contract between a husband and wife, it is transacted symbolically with a transfer of an object of worth. The ring is a solid band of metal with no stones set in it, so that its value may be easily ascertained and to show equality to all. As a ring has neither a beginning nor an end, it is representative of the cycle of life.
As [groom's name] places the ring onto [bride's name] right forefinger – in the presence of two honored witnesses – he states “Haray aht mikudeshet li b’tabaat zo kidaat Moshe v’Yisrael” - “Behold you are consecrated to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.”
In the Garden of Eden, G-d took one of Adam’s ribs (or sides) to create Eve, Adam’s wife. In this way, Adam was no longer complete, having had his rib/side taken from him. The Bible then continues, “Thus a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Thus, in our wedding ceremony, when [groom's name] makes the “Haray Aht” statement, he is acknowledging to [bride's name] that by marrying her he is finally complete.
It is [groom's name] giving and [bride's name] acceptance of the ring that joins them as husband and wife. As soon as [groom's name] places the ring on [bride's name] finger, they are considered legally married according to Jewish law.
Reading of the Ketubah
The ketubah is read aloud in the original Aramaic and repeated in English It is then given to [bride's name] to keep, confirming her acceptance of its terms.
Nissuin (Marriage Blessing)
This part of the ceremony consists of Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) recited by a number of honorees. The Sheva Brachot put the marriage in a historical and spiritual context and thank G-d for: 1) the fruit of the vine, the traditional symbol of joy and sanctity; 2) the creation of the world; 3) the creation of humanity; 4) the wisdom, intelligence, and free will with which every person is endowed; 5) the joy and happiness of Zion; 6) the joy of the bride and groom; and 7) a wish for the couple’s delight, cheer, love, harmony, peace and companionship in their lives together. After the final blessing over the wine, [groom's name] and [bride's name] drink from the second cup.
The Breaking of the Glass
The service is concluded by the singing of “Im eskachech Yerushalayim tishkach yimini” - “If I forget Thee Jerusalem, I should lose the power of my right hand”. [Groom's name] then shatters a glass, symbolizing that even in the midst of our great joy we remember the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash (the holy temple in Jerusalem) two thousand years ago. The breaking of the glass completes the ceremony.
After the Ceremony
Yichud (Togetherness)
Immediately following the ceremony, [groom's name] and [bride's name] will recess to a private room for the period known as yichud. Two shomrim (guards) are posted at the door and no interruptions are permitted. This allows the couple to break their fast and to savor the first few moments of married life together. After the seclusion, the couple will return shortly to the guests.
Seudat Mitzvah (Wedding Meal)
The mitzvah (commandment) of mis’ameach chatan v’kallah (gladdening the groom and bride) continues at the wedding meal. As the newlyweds enter the reception room, they are greeted by traditional dancing and singing. In accordance with Jewish tradition, men and women dance in separate circles. It is customary for as many of the guests as possible to dance individually with the bride and groom in the center of their respective circles. Since it is the spirit of the dancing, not the choreography, that is important, we encourage every guest to join in. More dancing and celebration takes place between courses. Before dessert is served, we recite the Birchat Hamazon (Grace after Meals) and a repetition of the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings). Dessert and more dancing will follow.
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The Ceremony Program then concludes with the Groom and Bride's Procession, listing out the names of family members and / or friends that will be walking down the isle by order of appearance.
